He wanted you to be their parents. Child custody, access and parental responsibility: The search for a just and equitable standard. Even took hope. i was honest of my relapse and just from telling the social worker that i was an at home mom who relapsed and seeking help?she called cps?went to my house where my ex was caring for them till i got out?my two oldest children not his blood. Will this ever end? If you want feedback and support from other parents, we have options: Fight CPS Message Board Forum . And as far as news they just showed up. Words of wisdom from a grandmothers broken and healing heart! I think there were a few others, but I cannot remember. (2001). He was taken when he was eleven months old. I have put this matter into the Lords hands, to let Him do the work in His time, since theres nothing else that can be done to change things. Im traumatized so bad just like my kids. When hes able to scan the internet, will he want to find a litany of accusations against his mother, or will he want to find that his parents are mature enough to co-parent responsibly for the good of their child, without anger and tension? Thanks CPS taking grant with no warning. healthy chicken and broccoli bake. #5. Jen, Im so so sorry to hear of your TPR I hope you will appeal. If you do this, keep your appointments for evaluations as anti-depressants are known to sometimes make the depression worse rather than better. They were taken almost 2 months ago and they cant even spend the night with me. I havent had my parental rights terminated but i dont know if they do if Ill be able to live with knowing I might never see my kids again. But to be an older person when an. Usually by the time a case has reached the point of TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) it is hard to get your child back unless youve done everything on the service plan and have collected your evidence and are prepared to impress the judge at the hearing. I just read what my next experience will be once I stop breathing. My kids were taken in 2000 They were 9 and 10. I do go to mental health but no matter what they do it does not work ive tried to concentrate my depression into bettering myself still nothing ive tried to do many many things and nothing helps so i always keep going back to marijuana and drinkin. Please try it. While moving a family member (ex-sister in law) forced my daughter into her vehicle and took her to the police department and told the police that my daughter was trying to commit suicide. You may have heard the common statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. I am in arizona. In the first stage, the person does not believe in the truth of the loss. Heart palpitations, shaking, chest pains, diarrhoea, butterflies in your stomach and sickness are all common. It seemed to me that the children would be better served by putting the non-abusive spouse into a private, secret residence where the abuser couldnt find them. Losing custody of a child to child protection services is associated with significantly worse maternal mental health than experiencing the death of a child. Now im asking God to restore what has been lost. Gods going to fight for all good parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten cps agents! None of us are held accountable for what others do, but we are held accountable for our response to what others do. God gave you inalienable rights, not the state, feds or your DHHS. I will never get that chance to be actually be mommy. Call 512-320-9126 or complete the form to secure your family and your future. I have been on almost every antidepressant out there and I can say these are the best. Please write me missmelovestorii-at-gmail.com, My name is kathryn. I have been in and out of hospitals for suicidal ideation. It is his will what will be done. With there father, the abuse and the drugs. I lost my children three girls in 2011. Im so depressed lost and confused at how CPS did things and just how much they get away withMy family and I was violated and our constitutional rights tossed in the garbage and there was nothing I could doI really need help in this battle..My kids are being harmed in the worse way possible emotionally and minimally by being taken from the only ones they know only by an allegation.never knew cussing could be domestic violence. You can trust a lawyer to advocate on your behalf and seek the best possible outcome. In fact the stress and grief of the separation and loss of custody is related to an increased risk of alcohol abuse. The psychologist, having studied the problem, can advise you to take a vacation, return to work, do your favorite thing. Go to a mental health place and tell them you have anxiety from your kids being taken and beg for their help dont stop till they help they cant refuse you. You are a beacon of hope and a bright light showing others the way. NY would not take the TN medical insurance. 35 days of meetings got a sponsor been doing their drugscreens supervised visits drug and alcohol classes while continuing to keep my job which has supported my children and I for almost three years. It takes a lot of time and effort to overcome your grief. Im pulling for you to get your kids back soon. I have no advice of how to cope and i dont want to share my ugly story (theyre a dime a dozen) I just want you to know that I AM PROUD OF YOU. Do you think theyre going to testify against you? The most effective defense I have found for making CPS go away is an immediate cell phone call to a first-rate CPS defense lawyer while standing on my front porch with the door closed and latched behind me. But either way my baby will know shes enough, shes worth it, and shes loved. I just need some advice. Ive been depressed for years but this is a whole new type of depression. He loves his daddy but will not let me hold him. 1 hour! The shoe doesnt feel so well on the other foot. In the end, they did their damage and closed the case. Linda Jo Martin is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program Even my lawyer said, as long as they follow the law we will win. 3. Its been so hard and worse than ever because this time I have anxiety/panic attacks about losing the kids! Kids dont get over knowing a parent committed suicide. Remember the story of Joseph in the Bible who got sold into slavery? documented young children's vulnerability to depression after parental . Where is the case at? And the state is telling me that my daughter will not be reunited with me as long as Im there because its not considered stable housing. difficulty accepting that your loved one is . Email me and jen4032w-at-gmail.com I hope to hear back from you and hang in there. It is tearing me apart and I have tried to seek help but it seems there is none. I would suggest reevaluating on maybe the why your kids might have been taken and focus on what you can do to get them back. They can do whatever they want whenever they want. I used my depression to my advantage by turning it into anger. At least you know where they are. And cry for them boy do i still cry for them every chance I get. God has a plan in all of this! She was a preachers daughter and I prayed for God to do what was best for my children and they were gone. You are in mourning feeling grief and sorrow at the loss. I miss and need them desperately. The first days of dealing with the death of a child are very difficult. Prepare for recurring grief. I will never sign that paper agreeing that the child I carried inside me for 9 months will never again call me mom. I believe all parental authority over the child totally ends at age 1`8, It can in some circumstances be younger, if the child petitions the court to be emancipated!! Of course you are going to miss your kids. But adoptive parent gave my kids back and collected payments. I take SAMe, it is a natural antidepressant. I know I have to be strong and fight for my baby but sometimes is to hard knowing hes probably bounding with somebody else Or missing me please I need lots of prayer for my baby to come back home me and daddy are doing everything we can to bring him back soon. Let Jesus build you back up again and make your life a beautiful success in His name, no matter what happens next. Please pray for me.. this has been a month from hell. It can also become difficult for you and your child to adjust to these changes, the fact that your child has been taken from you and that you no longer have access to them can be an excruciating experience. I turn my childrens attention of their questions onto their parents to have them give the answer. I am fighting cps it has been about a year and a half.I feel they use my now ex husband against me.cps is wrongfully handling things wrong I have done all classes required and have a job car and home.hopefully the judge turns her head and sees that I deserve them back two of my children are tribal members and they have been turned against me to the fullest extent.all I want is them back somebody hear me out I have been diagnosed with ptsd which is a sign of depression.all who are going through this torture never give up.Lord hear our prayers my family also gets nothing out of this.cps is prejudiced and they use bias never believe anything they say.with love to all Andrea. We were, as a family serving God when the State legally kidnapped my children by lying and twisting and exaggerating the truth until it was unrecognizable. Also, the hope that my kids are coming back to me. I could never be mad with him or questioned him. Ashley, Im so sorry you lost your children to Child Protective Services corruption and dishonesty. First, can you please give us some background information. Get better education, a good job, pursue meaningful hobbies, or whatever it is you need to do to feel better about yourself. suicidal thoughts or plans. Educate yourself to understand parenting in the context od divorce, Ensure that the stress does not get ot the child. The tears I cry for you each day could surely fill a cup. A pet's death can also be a trigger for remembering other painful losses in their lifetime. Nothing is yours. I know who wins, and I know what side I am on. A few things have changed, but no one would dare tell me that it was because of my letters. These methods will not help to survive the death of a child, but will only worsen the situation. I hope he will be returned to you soon. Other features include decreased self-esteem and self-confidence, ideas of guilt and worthlessness, a gloomy and pessimistic outlook on the future, ideas or actions of self-harm or suicide, decreased concentration and attention, sleep disturbances, and decreased appetite. Its hopeless, even for the best of us parents. I dont believe anything is ever gonna change with the CPS department so I see no use in trying anything any more. Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when theyre not with you. Write! I got to be at the capitol when Minnesota passed marriage equality, and saw firsthand how change can happen. And so is your pain. He will always be 11 to me. Like I dont know what to do. Trust me I know. The federal laws are corrupt, and really, they shouldnt even exist because of the Tenth Amendment of the US Constitution. Express your grief in creativity. DO NOT LET CPS win! Here are a few steps you can take to cope with this change and loss: Losing custody of a child is a common issue that many parents face during the process of separation or divorce, and also in cases when the parents- for reasons such as substance abuse, reported child abuse and negelect, neglect due to mental and physical illnesses- are deemed incapable to taking care of their children. My heart is aching so badly I dont know what to do. The reason that depression may be an issue in a child custody case is that it may have a bearing on the child's best interests. I hope your still alive and ok!! Required fields are marked *. This time I got married and let my son go visit his dads side of the family because of an argument with my husband. I am a great mom. Exercise yourself. The agency probably wont be motivated to act on alleged abuse in the foster home, as it is not in their interest to do so. Never will I stop doing whatever I can, which first and foremost is to pray. Lets fight this together, turn your hearts to God. I have been contemplating suicide for several days, even going to the point of holding the pills in my hand and writing out instructions on what to do with my body. The county gets social security fund money just for having you go to their services like psychological testing, counseling, parenting classes, etc so it is a financial benefit to them to have you doing these things, thinking all along that you might get the child back, even if they truly never intend to allow that to happen. They are very young 1 and 6 months. Losing a child "is a trauma that doesn't go away," says Marsha Mailick, a social scientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison who has studied bereavement. And as for the others, if they are with your mom, thats better than in foster care. And there will be lots of Birthdays and Christmases! They dont like me and wont return my calls. Lawyers are paid by the state and dont do anything. Also-now there is another rx pill-called a mood stabilizer that helps with the depression. Roxanna, I feel your pain. After losing a child, parents may find themselves experiencing shock, denial, anger, depression, hopelessness, guilt, isolation, disorganized thoughts, feelings of acceptance, and/or a host of other possible thoughts and feelings. Depression can run in families. Divorce Poem Losing Custody Of Child Poem A parent who loses custody of his child lets the child know that they are not forgotten and that he looks forward to the day they will be reunited. And remember Jochebed, Moses mother, who had to give him up? So i had moved out of my friends place thinking if i got in a better place they would leave me and my children alone. Too many people get to judge me when they are worse parents than Ive ever been and I just feel very alone. The next day I notified our foster worker that he needed to be seen as he was still very sick. My 3 kids are gone because the first 3 drug test werent enough and I failed the 4th hair folicale for OTC sinus meds. I have no money or strength left to fight! I feel worthless and powerless and always the bad guy. It isnt just women! Hi I am currently fighting cps in the state of Texas. Is there any way to speak with you over the phone? It only makes to depression WAY worse my heart goes out to you and all others who are in this situation. I PRAY FOR STRENGTH.. Their names are Tommy Lucian and Goldie-May Marie. They have been ahold of me my entire life. I think that was abusive!!! Start from there. Im losing my resolve!!! I said go ahead he said daddys been hitting u again huh thats why we cant hug u b/c u hurt to bad and cry its okay to leave daddy we wont be mad.. I need luck. flashbacks, anxiety, or other symptoms of PTSD. The Good Shepherd takes care of His sheep. I crocheted a blanket for each of the kids. Grieving this loss is an individualized process that can be captured in poetry about losing a child. If you find y Cps has lied, created stories, tried to confuse the children to say things. You enjoyed being a parent your love for your babies show since you openly expose the hurt your in. Social withdrawal: Some people tend to pull back from family and friends when going through periods of high stress. I tell my babies mommy loves you with all of my soul. The other one is hopelessly brainwashed and her mind is poisoned against me probably with lies that I cannot even imagine since she will not tell me why she wont talk to me this is called Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). I suffer from anxiety now that I never had once before. We were an hour from being discharged and they stole him. I had to sit on the stand and name each and every date off my life was under the microscope. If you report to a CPS supervisor that is nothing; the supervisors are worse than the caseworkers, most of the time. XOX. A 2008 study found that even 18 years after losing a child, bereaved parents reported "more depressive symptoms, poorer well-being, and more health problems and were more likely to have experienced a depressive episode and marital disruption." While some parents did improve, "recovery from grief was unrelated to the Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism. I myself, have been fighting dcs. This is bigger than fighting for which address is our childrens residence. Yesterday i got the news that the tpr was granted. "If there is anything I can do, please let me know. They told me he was not to be left alone with my kids so I made sure he wasnt ever left alone with them. I feel your pain. Most cases resolve much faster. I was the victim of domestic violence by my second husband and CPS handed my kids over to their biological father. Please pray for me and a safe return home with hopefully Jesus. No last names. Wednesday, March 28, 2012 Losing Custody Of Child Poem, My Lost Love, My Lost Child This is my third time involved with dcs. We are not held accountable by God for the actions others choose evil against us, or our children. It helps a lot. I cant go on any further, too much pain. Im here in recovery Im not allowing this to mess with my sobriety. Jon Vaughn, Contributor. Have episodes of aggression or self-harm. Everytime I think about all the milestones Im missing out on, all the fun things we use to do or even just having my babies in the bed cuddled up at night it kills me. Usually, divorce cases tend to drag on and often cause a lot of emotional distress and stress on the people involved. This has to be stopped! Im tired in every way a person can be tired. What do I do??? I will always be love her. DSS is not what I thought they were. You can also take the effort to indulge in self-care changes by paying attention to your diet, your sleep, and your physical body. fatigue. It may be not useful now but one day it just might be worth it to show them you were there always loving them. But one day I got on my knees and prayed talking to God like if he was my best friend asking him to forgive me that I couldnt live like anymore that I surrender myself to him that I leave all my problems in his hands. This is the standard that courts use when making decisions on child custody and visitation. When my child was taken by CPS at birth, over 20 years ago, I was extremely depressed. I am only 24 with three children. They gave me a year. Always a hole in my heart. If I lose my battle for my kids, I am going to fight that much harder. Create a ritual in your sibling's memory. Live your life in such a way that your children will have a faithful path on which to follow. I recommend some self help books for these issues. The painting and sawing and all that would be messy, but then in the end, what a beautiful house it is! She told me that I have ZERO chance of getting my kids. I want to share my story of hope! Featured Shared Story I know God sees us through our trials, and sometimes we never know why. I was wrong, but that only means that I now have more time to devote to stopping this epidemic. our Mombecause she knows how to make us feel better. Not sure what to do to fill the void and I miss my husband and children too. God would never take someones children away especially when they are loved and cared for. For the longest time i was the only one saying no for everything. But for the parent, that doesn't make the loss any less wrenching. When I saw that Childrens Division blatantly broke every one of their own laws, regulations, and rules, while criticizing me for every imagined infraction of their perception of perfection, I started climbing the ladder. Best of luck stay strong. Suicidal Ideation }, { same here Nebraska is faulty as heck down here }, { hey we should talk as I want to do the same with Nebraska. Several theories have been put forward to explain this reaction, and they described seven stages of grief. A retrospective study done on maternal mental health after the loss of custody has found that Losing custody of a child to child protection services is associated with significantly worse maternal mental health than experiencing the death of a child. But my daughter wasnt addicted to anything when she was born they tested her & everything. Lost, I am so sorry you lost your kids, Try not to blame yourself. Every turn Ive run into a brick wall. It is unusual for a case to be ongoing this long these days. I cant afford a attorney . A woman with hollow eyes approached us and handed out a flier. Kenneta, I got my baby back from CPS after eight months but my ex-husband used the CPS case against me in family court and lied about me in court documents. Monica has years of experience working with families in transition. But i do know that i want something done about my children having these strange marks all the time. Candy, your posting touched me deep down, and brought tears to my eyes because youre doing all the things I would hope any TPRed parent would do. People tell me all the time to stop thinking of them, because it makes my nerves worse. God gives each of us on this earth a free will. But still I have no more friends. You didnt give up. If not. Does anyone have any experience with this. CPS offered me no assistance whatsoever-no counseling, no guidelines of what to do to fix things. Or I can just go up to my kids school and take them being that I am the custodial parent but that can make matters worse to just be patient. I know what your feeling. You can get them on Ebay. And now their psychological evaluator has wrote a really bad report on me (it wouldve only been worse if she accused be of being Jeffery Dahmer!) The next stages include denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and, ultimately, acceptance of the truth, allowing the person to return to their normal life. I feel like dying inside. The cps took my samantha 23 years ago and I suffer in silence and continually ask God why. Put everything you want to say on a piece of paper and then burn it. They jerked a child away so fast and so insensitively and they didnt even care. In time, the shock will wear off and other emotions such as anger, guilt and regret may surface. 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