Your husband is being unreasonable. Now such interactions are common, and not suspicious in any legal sensebut can still carry the hint of wrongness. I don't believe in the notion of "certain situations make it more likely to happen" as if people have no control over themselves. I feel very vulnerable because I'm single. He's wearing a ring! And if for some reason time got away from me I'd call or text my husband so he wouldn't worry. But my friend raised the stakes by proposing similar hypothetical situations that werent as easy to dismiss. . I do not care at all. It doesn't really matter what their motivation is, it is your actions that will control whether it goes further. . To what kind of husband would that be ok? Okay, big duh. On the other hand, though, since I don't have first hand experience with infidelity, I'm worried there may be more subtler red flags I'm ignoring or not noticing. It would be one thing if she was apologetic about it. If she wants to have a bunch of male "friends" she should never have gotten into a relationship or marriage. If someone starts sending you flirty email/IM, then don't play. That phone being in her purse shows she wasn't thinking about you. I agree.. but it only takes an hour or so to drink a few drinks.. 8 hrs later she is now texting him, it might have been hours more before she actually arrived home. reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): A I've always said that people should be allowed friends of the opposite sex and especially if the friendship started before you met your partner you have no real right to try and interfere in that friendship. If you started off with this attitude then no wonder he hasnt asked you to meet her, why would you introduce your friend to someone who had a negative attitude towards them from the start? That seems extreme IMO. And he has picked up on it. It was just friendly (although he was flattering about the way I look and he is clearly an attractive man) BUT I am not interested in any other way than friends. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By If there's a group i go, but never alone. No, not OK. cut out the caffeine, and ditched the sugar. She said there were many other people there playing "Magic the gathering" (card game I guess) and everyone is bull****ting and just having fun. I think the key to understanding this is recognizing that married men who love their wives and don't want to cheat don't spend a lot of time socializing with single women, whether that is chatting them up, going to lunch/dinner alone with them, calling them on the phone or engaging in a lot of email or IM that doesn't also include their wives in the socializing. I had a married man going after me. female My DH felt very threatened by this in the beginning - esp as my friend was single and we had dated yonks ago. Draw your line, and stick to it. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Maybe it wouldnt bother you if your spouse were home with a repair personbut what if he/she mentioned stopping by a single colleagues house to finish up a project they were working on together? I'm curious about the male perspective on this. traditional sex war drags on in the background. Started February 8, By She is still not home. The odd man (married or unmarried) may hit on you. :(. Maybe your husband likes the attention, especially if you have young children. So draw that boundary that doesn't allow them opportunities to flirt or say/do things that might lead you down that road. If your husband feels the need to go out with his unmarried male friends, 2 to 3 nights a week, then I'd suggest you take him back to his mother, and tell her to finish raising him, because no grown man, or no respectable loving husband, would ever think this was appropriate. . In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. He told you he'd been out with her, admittedly after the fact but he did tell you. Do you think you could be being oversensitive because you are in this rough patch? Mar 11, 2013. Monster has released a range of alcoholic drinks that recreate the flavours of the popular energy drinks. All Rights Reserved. That her social life -- like many adults -- revolves around work? Back when I was 27 I had a friend who was a really bad influence. Will this be a Red Flag for her? Davidgrx If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. Maybe I am oblivious to these things but I am pretty sure no married woman has ever tried to hit on me (and I don't blame them!!). But I do think that sometimes boundaries get blurry and that's why it's good to notice subtle red flags. DepressedHusband. Actually . What are some red flags to notice that would indicate that someone is subtly setting up a situation, emotionally or physically, so that an affair could happen more easily? She made a face like it wouldnt be a big deal. I would not be okay with that if the behavior were repeated over and over. Alleybux. I want to discuss our future.". I occasionally meet up with a male friend who I have known for 23 yrs, we dated when we were 15 and our brothers are all friends. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. Im sorry but your husband sounds like an arse,if he knows you already feel insecure about there "friendship" then he should put your feelings before anyone elses and end the friendship or like you said at least involve you in it,I think what makes it worse is the fact he goes on about how great she is etc. Copyright 1997-2022 LoveShack.org. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I think you are doing the right thing by broaching the subject before he goes away, get it all out in the open and try to get to the bottom of it once and for all. You might joke about things related to the office, or talk in groups of other people with them, but you don't spend much one on one time with them. Eric Berkowitz, author of a history of sexual laws called Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire, pointed out to me that the American judicial system has historically taken great interest in private sexual behavior; until fairly recently adultery was considered a criminal offense and sex was often at issue in divorce proceedings because of rules that required one party in the breakup to be found at fault. These things all happened with different women, and are just some of the more egregious examples. Shutterstock. I agree with you on the money issue. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to hang out together. . i certainly don't lead them on, or but i may joke around with them - in the same way i would even joke around with a female friend or an unmarried male friend. I don't really have anybody to go out with anymore. are there any red flags you've noticed with married women trying to hit on. Our R M Mavash. A woman who is in love with another man will stop giving her husband the time of day. You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . These hypotheticals are situationsmen and women traveling together for business; a married man being a primary caregiver for children during the day; women identifying as sports fansthat to greater and lesser degrees didnt exist until relatively recently. He was fired the next day. that there is something more to this. The way she speaks to you, the way she acts like you're bothering her by showing concern, the way she acts flippant when you've been calling her and worried like why are you calling etcthat is UTTERLY disrespectful and she sounds like an immature 16 year old who's trying to stick it to her parents by being rebellious. Started February 23, By Like a few others have said, the length of time is not necessarily cause for concern (just seems odd given the time of day) but the way it played out wasn't right. 12) Join the dating scene. Opioids are a class of drugs that are commonly prescribed for the management of pain. None of my sources hold especially conservative beliefs about sexual relationships or roles. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Maybe that is just a male perspective. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. He's a married man. I've never been taken for a prude, and i have lots of business contacts and friendly relations with people i work with, but i turn down every attempt any married man makes to see me alone for eating/drinks/dinner partying or initiate any kind of flirting. I've come to a great realization. She said they have asked her many times to come out and she has turned them down because Iwouldn'tt come along and the one time she says yes I freak out on her. It's all in the smile. Is that inappropriate or normal? So anyways now its about 9am and I have heard nothing back. 3) She has lost interest in you. Finally she calls me back around 9:20 asking me whats up. 61,824. Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, and co-author with her husband, Steve, of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies.Together they created Boundless in 1998. The fact that it was all men makes it a little shifty. I think having a few drinks with colleagues is normal. reader, Wild Thaing+, writes (14 September 2013): A Is it ever ok for a married man to take another women out to lunch? He was in my life before my DH and I continue to go out for the occasional drink with him. The fact you have not been allowed to meet her and get to know her makes me feel uncomfortable. All of my married friends talk about their families when we're together, although since I have no kids or husband, they realize I can't relate beyond listening to the story. I guess some background about me, I have not been in a ton of relationships before my wife, maybe 5 or 6 long term ones. I fall back asleep until 8am. When is it OK to be alone with someone elses spouse? Been there, done that, it won't end well. However, if she smiles more at you than other people around you, there may be something there. What's open at 2AM?.but even if there are places open, nothing good happens at that time anyway. from one night of drinking too much to divorce court. Communication is very important and a lot of things can go wrong without it. LOL. I blue balled him several times and nade him spend money on me on dates and guess what. Avoid trying to compete with his partner. What is she doing, what is he doing going for drinks, going back to his office, why are they in a car together?" Good point. I saw the texts. So if a married man lights up in a woman's presence and points those lights at her, it's undeniably one of the signs of a married man in love with another woman. Not calling to leave a message was inconsiderate. She will ignore him and not make any effort to please him. 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